Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

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I can count

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

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I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

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I see through liars

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

Why is dating so frustrating and difficult for a guy?

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

What story do you have involving a public restroom?

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

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When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

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I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

Why do some men like anal sex?

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I can read

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

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When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I don’t buy bullshit

Do women like watching men sucking men?

I know who the president of Turkey really is

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

What do you remember that 95% of us have forgotten?

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

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I don’t cotton to rapists

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

Why cant I sleep even tho I am sleepy? I am not anxious or worried but my body just doesn't want to. I've been awake for almost 2 days and feel sleepy but I cant sleep. My doctor said its anxiety related but its not. Is this normal?

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I have a reading level above third grade

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

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I understand how hurricane paths work

I actually pay taxes

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

What is a sermon to talk about men?

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I have complete contempt for fakery

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”